JANUARY 15, 2007
i’m thinking about going but i want to stay. i’m thinking of the future but the past won’t let go, like shackles they pin me down. i’m thinking about all the time i wasted, all the why’s and if’s circling in my head. i’m going straight but my eyes are blinded by your light, i’m forced to a stop though every cell of my body shouts for you. i’m making amends and i’m fooling around. i’m running but my feet are lagging. i want to protect you from harm and i’m afraid of hurting you myself. i’m counting sheeps but i’m herding a pack wolves. i’m looking for you and you are hiding from me. i’m not letting go but you are pushing me away, and thus, we’re drifting apart. i’m thinking about gory the nights i spent in the abattoir and the beast’s ordeal with the blade. i’m thinking positive but you are doubting me. i’m thinking about spending the night writing this but i still have class tomorrow.