Each day when the dawn breaks, I think of you and everything that belongs in your world. The promises we made, the things that we shared, and the love we made. And each day the wound in my heart dries out, slowly purging me with memories of you. If it matters, it matters – no but’s, no if’s and crazy philosophical shit in between. Another day begins and I am not on my knees anymore. I am sane and I am sober. I can go on, I must go on for my sake and my family.
JANUARY 1, 2008
It’s been a year now since I started this blog and from the way it turned out, the first entry turned out to be today’s broadcast. This blog is dying. From a strong start, I was able to round up all of my scattered thoughts and put them into words on a regular basis. I was able to post at least one entry per week until it went down to an entry per month, then unsurprisingly, it dwindled down to a pitiful zero. I love writing especially when I have time to burn; it has a therapeutic effect on me, I feel like my brain is calibrated and all of the rusty parts are sprayed with Wd-40. Maintaining decent blog is no small feat, not unless you have all the time to write, and a stable income to pay for your Internet connection. Posting an entry requires time and reading an entry does too. So I would like to thank people who spend their precious time in reading my posts, even if they tend to veer from the main subject taking side quests. If you are familiar with Final Fantasy or any popular RPG title then you’ll what I’m talking about. As we grow old, time becomes more and more an issue and the culprit is work. It is evident even in physics where the formula for time is work over power. For many people, time is gold. And indeed it is. I read something interesting about time from a newspaper when I was a kid; I think I was in grade school and it was during a constipated session in the bathroom. Having read all of the other sections, I turned to the lifestyle section. I am not fond of reading neither lifestyle nor society pages on newspapers, they are full of superficial people pretending to smile and look happy in pictures while three fourths of our countrymen are living below the poverty line. It gets worse when a columnist wrap pictures around the whole lifestyle section, plastering it with photos from elite people’s extravagant celebrations. I guess I didn’t have a choice because all missiles have to be dropped. I forgot it verbatim but it said something like: “When we are young we have all the time in the world but little money to spend; and when we reach middle age we have some money to spend but so little time because of work; and when we reach the point where have money to spend, we spend time and money watching for our health”
Managing time has never been harder, not with a sudden decision to change your career to IT. In my case, it was like teaching a salesman to compile his sale’s pitch to machine readable form. I realized that programming in C will make some of the brightest people look and feel stupid. But that’s just what I think, anyway, I envy people who have discipline in managing their time, which I believe I lack big time.
For so many times I felt like I am in the process of coming up with an original idea, the one that could raise eyebrows. And no I m not talking about silicon implants nor a way to knock some sense to our incumbent president. I am talking about a good topic to write about. This was from November to mid December where I literally made a tour of Makati. My job lost me in October, it was due to my inability to pass the PhilNits. I was not sad because I lost my job, I was sad because of the timing – with the cool breeze of December fast approaching and 3 sets for 100 blinking lights on sale.