This Time

This time I know where I’m going and I intend to get there.

Easier said than done, I know. Wrapped in full battle gear, I look over the horizon and estimate the path to my destination. Oh boy it’s tough, and it gets tougher after every obstacle. Over mountains and over seas, through blinding winds and treacherous valleys I set forth towards my life’s greatest journey.

This time I know I want and I’m determined to have it.

I want to live a normal life with my family. Take care of mom and dad when they grow old. Spend the weekends and holidays together and have dinner together as much as time permits. I want to have a son and a daughter who would grow up and live their own lives. I want to have a caring partner who could clear my thoughts when they become cloudy. I want flesh, more flesh.

This time my eyes are open and they see through the superficial world.

My eyes see through the overrated success money has bestowed upon people and how it can control them if they let it. They see through walls of executive offices atop skyscrapers, which none could ever come close to my home. They see past 20 inch chrome wheels bolted on a new Ford truck, my old 4D56 engine has a heart engine that is indestructible.

This time I’ll conquer my fears and they will be the one afraid of me.

I’ll conquer my own demons and instill fear on my enemies. I will not allow my insecurities stomp me silent to the ground and throw me off my axis. I’ll stop all the wallowing and self-pity I put myself into whenever failure strikes. I won’t let stress from work denude my scalp because of dandruff. I’ll have my voice heard when it needs to, to uphold a greater reason.

This time I hope I’m right.

Because if I was wrong, I would have to eat all this three hundred and thirty seven words.

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2 thoughts on “This Time

  1. Ishdishyu? Nice one. AKu mu ata ing mag comment keni at i Ricca. Jom, Kev said na you are on the right track. He read it last night. Galeng.

    Like

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